For a man largely responsible for creating one of the most successful, important, and influential television shows in history,Jerry Seinfeld’s post-Seinfeldcareer has been a strange one. Naturally, Seinfeld has continued with stand-up and touring since the show ended, but his most prominent projects since have been hostingComedians in Cars Getting Coffeeand producing NBC’sThe Marriage Ref. Just as odd is that his only major film credit has been as the main voice and co-writer/co-producer of 2007’sBee Movie, a sparse filmography for someone who hasharsh things to say about the state of the movie industry.But maybe the weirdest part of this already weird career is Seinfeld’s choice for his directorial debut:Unfrosted, the almost entirely made-up history of the Pop-Tart.
Unfrosted, which Seinfeld also stars in and co-wrote withBee MoviewritersSpike Feresten,Barry Marder, andAndy Robin, in some ways, makes sense as a Seinfeld project. Seinfeld has never been shy about his love of breakfast options, and this scenario is a perfect opportunity for random asides and observations about cereals. What better way for Seinfeld to make rapid-fire jokes about one of his favorite topics, all within the context of an actual film? What’s the deal with Grape Nuts? Well, here’s an actual narrative where he can explore that! But it doesn’t take long into the film before one realizes thatthere’s little more toUnfrostedthan constant cereal references and celebrity cameos—a ten-minute Funny or Die sketch stretched into a feature-length film.
Unfrosted: The Pop-Tart Story
Michigan 1963, business rivals Kellogg’s and Post compete to create a cake that could change breakfast forever.
What Is ‘Unfrosted’ About?
Unfrostedtakes us into the heated cereal wars of the early 1960s, where in Battle Creek, Michigan, Kellogg’s and Post are constantly trying to one-up each other. Seinfeld plays Bob Cabana, a high-ranking employee at Kellogg’s, who, alongside Edsel Kellogg III (Jim Gaffigan), has ruled the cereal game. But when Post, led by Marjorie Post (Amy Schumer) and her right-hand man Rick Ludwin (Max Greenfield) create a new “breakfast dingus”—a pastry filled with “goo” based on Kellogg’s design—Kellogg’s has to fight back and beat the competition to the store shelves.
To beat Post, Kellogg’s enlists the help of some heavy hitters. Bob reunites with his former comrade Donna Stankowski (Melissa McCarthy), who had left the cereal game to work at NASA. This pair also creates a lineup of Taste Pilots to figure out how to succeed in this war, featuring the likes of Chef Boyardee (Bobby Moynihan), Tom Carvel (Adrian Martinez), Jack LaLanne (James Marsden), Steve Schwinn (Jack McBrayer), and Sea-Monkeys creator Harold von Braunhut (Thomas Lennon). Amongst all this, Kellogg’s is facing an uprising from their cereal mascots, led by the voice of Thurl Ravenscroft (Hugh Grant), with the help of Snap, Crackle, and Pop (Kyle Mooney,Mikey Day, andDrew Tarver, respectively). Oh yeah, andthe battle for sugar might have been theactualcause of theCold War.
‘Unfrosted’ Seems Like It Came Up With the Jokes First, Then the Plot Second
If that sounds like that’s a lot of plot for a movie that’s supposed to be about the creation of a foodstuff, it is. But the story itself is the least ofUnfrosted’s concern. These multiple directions are simply different ways to throw out plenty of cereal jokes and drop in an absurd amount of cameos.The main plot allows Seinfeld to joke about cereals, the uprising is obviously an opportunity to poke fun at the mascots, while the Taste Pilots is a way to comment on all sorts of ‘60s ephemera. It’s as though Seinfeld and his team crafted the jokes they wanted to tell within this world, then created a flimsy story around it to collect them all.
That’s not to say the gags aren’t occasionally worthwhile. Grant, in particular, as Thurl Ravenscroft, is a hilarious, unusual bit of casting that goes into some wild directions. Grant has recently embraced his ludicrous side with films likePaddington 2,Dungeons & Dragons: Honor Among Thieves, andWonka, butUnfrostedmight be his most absurd leap yet. And it’s just inherently funny to see Grant in a Tony the Tiger outfit. How can you not loveAndy Dalyas the head of Quaker, looking just like the mascot, or another ingenious cameo from two iconic TV characters that won’t be spoiled here? Even Max Greenfield gets to be delightfully unhinged in a way he hasn’t been able to sinceNew Girl, and who doesn’t like that? There are clever little bits throughout, but that’s all they are: sprinkles on a substance-free dingus. And while many of the jokes about cereal (and there are a lot) are amusing, they’re rarely laugh-out-loud funny. At times,Unfrostedalmost feels like a more structure-free version ofWeird: The Al Yankovic Story, but set in the world of cereal and without the cleverness that musical biopic parody had.
Behind the camera, Seinfeld is equally scattered.Unfrostedis at its best when it looks like a candy-colored dream world, a Willy Wonka for cereal. The setup forUnfrostedis that the creation of Pop Tarts is a story Seinfeld’s Bob Cabana is telling to a young runaway, so its fantastical nature makes sense in the spirit of the story. Everything is brightly colored and vibrant, bringing a sense of imagination to this story. But at times,Unfrostedlooks only slightly better than an episode of30 Rock, especially in the offices of Kellogg’s. At the very least, Seinfeld does show us the love he has for these cereals through his camera, but he also does this through directing that sort of feels like a single-camera sitcom.
‘Unfrosted’ Is All Cameos and Bits, With No Substance
It might seem sort of ridiculous to want more out of a movie about Pop-Tarts and to expect that Seinfeld’s first movie wouldn’t be more than just a series of quick quips. But considering we’re in a world whereBarbiecan make $1.4 billion and become a commentary on feminism and the patriarchy, orTetris,Air Jordans, andFlamin’ Hot Cheetoscan get their own halfway decent biopics,it’s a shameUnfrosteddoesn’t try a bit harder. Again, even a film likeWeirdmanaged to make its jokes and cameos work as part of a larger story, whereasUnfrostedalways puts the story itself on the back burner.
Maybe it shouldn’t be surprising that the man who created a “show about nothing”has also made a movie that feels as hollow as a Froot Loop. Seinfeld has made a directorial debut that ends up feeling like a bowl of sugary cereal: not a terrible thing to eat, but not as fulfilling or substantial as you might’ve hoped it would be.
Unfrosted, Jerry Seinfeld’s directorial debut, is heavy on the jokes and cameos, but light on literally everything else.
Unfrostedis available to stream on Netflix in the U.S. starting May 3.
