The Wachowskisare known not only for creating one of the most important action and science fiction films of all time,The Matrixbut also for the personal themes of queerness and otherness that run through almost all of their work. Ironically, you’ll be hard-pressed to find a straighter, more stereotypically-gendered film than their earliest screenwriting credit, 1995’sAssassinsstarringSylvester Stallone,Antonio Banderas, andJulianne Mooreand directed byRichard Donner. The film is a cat-and-mouse game between two (you guessed it) assassins, Robert Rath (Stallone) and Miguel Bain (Banderas) squabbling over computer hacker and target Electra (Moore). A notoriously bad film,Assassinshas largely been lost to $5 bargain bins where it will likely remain for all eternity.
Why Weren’t the Wachowskis Happy with ‘Assassins’?
Despite being credited as screenwriters in the film’s end credits, Lana and Lily Wachowski felt thatAssassinsdidn’t reflect their original vision, going on record to say that the script had been completely rewritten andunsuccessfully tried to get their names removed. Nevertheless,Assassinsremains the Wachowskis' first official film credit, which is undeniably impressive considering the caliber of both the director and the actors involved.
On the other end of the spectrum, Richard Donner had nothing butpositive feelings about the movie. While Donner believed it was one of Stallone’s best performances, it earned him (along withJudge Dreddfrom the same year) a Golden Raspberry, or Razzie, Nomination for worst actor.Assassinsonly holds a16% critic score on Rotten Tomatoesand a slightly more generous audience score of 45%. It’s easy to see why so few people defend this movie as it is essentially devoid of any personality and the plot is incomprehensible. The plot is so dumb and convoluted that you feel like to give it any thought whatsoever would be unearned as seemingly the filmmakers didn’t do as much.

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Why Doesn’t ‘Assassins’ Work?
Despite a fantastic cast and thedirector of the only two universally-beloved Superman films,Assassinsis the one thing that no movie should ever be: boring. Paper-thin characters, a bloated runtime, and an incoherent story drain any tension from an otherwise well-shot action thriller with some great locations. Despite Donner’s praise for Stallone’s performance, his Robert Rath lacks charisma and is just sleepwalking through the whole film.
In stark contrast, Antonio Banderas is disproportionately cartoonish as Miguel Bain, playing the part as maniacally whimsical, which is at first refreshing considering the rest of the film’s super serious tone but gets old in the second half. Julianne Moore is given little to nothing to do, resigning herself to a bland damsel in distress whose main character trait is that she’s an attractive woman. The only interesting thing about her character is that she’s a renegade hacker (sound familiar?). The movie is also about two hours and fifteen minutes, staying sufficiently past its welcome. The story that it is attempting to tell could have fit snuggly in an hour and forty-five minutes. However, perhaps the most perplexing aspect of the film is its tone. The film is awfully serious for having a protagonist named “Robert Rath”.

The Wachowskis as screenwriters are also known primarily for having very complex charactersthat often struggle with identity and finding a place in their world. The characters inAssassinsin contrast are painfully superficial and have absolutely nothing in common with any of the characters in their more noteworthy films. The characters don’t feel like they have any deeper feelings or experiences. Rath’s main character trait is that he no longer wants to be an assassin, but we are never given a concrete answer as to his change of heart. Bain just seems to like the game of it all, and takes psychotic pleasure in carrying out his job; he just likes being evil for the sake of being evil. Characters that don’t feel as if they exist outside the reality of the movie come across as shallow and are difficult to connect with. It would have been interesting to see what personality and depth the original script would have brought to these characters, possibly injecting some life into the film.
Why Doesn’t ‘Assassins’ Fit into the Wachowskis' Filmography?
Even at their worst, there is a level of ambition in everything that Lana and Lilly Wachowski that is dearly missing fromAssassins. One of their greatest strengths as storytellers and visual stylists is how they seamlessly weave together camp, deep sincerity, seemingly infinite pop-cultural influences, and post-modern philosophy. Needless to say, every single one of these is missing fromAssassins. Even with their “bad” films such asJupiter Ascending, there is always something to talk about, even if the final film is perplexing, to say the least. No one can honestly say that there is a lack of imagination inJupiter Ascending.
Sometimes the line between good and bad in their films is harder to differentiate, as inSpeed Racer, which is essentially the cinematic equivalent of hyper pop and is now viewed as a kind of maximalist art film.Speed Racer’s earned praise over the years, most notably gaining the director ofJohn Wick’s approval! It’s become a cult classic of the highest order and is considered by many as way ahead of its time. A similarly polarizing film in their filmography isCloud Atlas, a heady and ambitious space opera that was way more contemplative than the typical sci-fi blockbuster.The Matrixsequels, including the most recent one, have sparked hours and hours of discourse among fans.

In fact, the Wachowskis have very few forgettable films, but they also don’t have a filmography made up of hit after hit;The Matrixis an outlier in that sense. It is arguably their one and only true success on all fronts. The problem withAssassinsis It’s just not weird enough. The Wachowskis can do a grounded crime film as seen in their debut (and arguably best non-Matrix film),Bound, which has standout performances all around and a great sense of tension. It’s arguably their sharpest film to date and doesn’t have a lot of hot air. In comparison, the script forAssassinshas an abundance of fat that could have easily been cut. Their skills as screenwriters definitely go less recognized than their skills as directors, but it takes truly excellent screenwriters to make movies likeThe MatrixandBound. The fact that they’ve written off their involvement withAssassinsand didn’t feel any ownership over the final draft just goes to show how lacking in vision the film truly is.
Despite the final product being less than stellar, it’s interesting to ponder what could have been withAssassinshad the Wachowskis had their original script faithfully adapted. Could it have been another violent and tense thriller with engaging characters likeBound? Perhaps it could have been something completely different as the sisters rarely play in this genre sandbox. to demonstrate just how farAssassinsmust be from their original script, look no further than the character of Electra, who is the antithesis of every femme character the Wachowskis have ever written. It’s disappointing, but not surprising, and weirdly heartening when one realizes that so much of their crazy imagination has been able to come to us undiluted, unlikeAssassins.