It seems like half of horror’s most iconic villains have sprung fromStephen King’s pen. There’s Annie Wilkes (Kathy Bates) inMisery, the bloodthirsty Cujo,The Shining’s Jack Torrance (Jack Nicholson), the vampire Kurt Barlow in’Salem’s Lot, and, of course, Pennywise the Clown (Tim Curry/Bill Skarsgård). These characters alone prove that King is truly the Hemingway of horror; no other writer in the genre comes close to his scope or impact.
That said, even master storytellers occasionally slip up. King himself admits that some of his stories are “stinkers”, something which is especially true oftheir screen adaptations. Indeed, there are quite a few movies based on King’s work that serve up villains that are laughably un-scary. Some of these antagonists were fantastic on the page, but poor performances or weak direction ruined them on-screen. Here are the worst offenders, ranked.
This article contains spoilers for the movies discussed.
10Jane Hollister
‘Firestarter’ (2022)
“I’m a monster!” DirectorKeith Thomashelmedthis remake of the 1984 filmbased on King’s 1980 novel. It’s about a pyrokinetic girl named Charlie (Ryan Kiera Armstrong) and her telepathic father, Andy (Zac Efron). Captain Jane Hollister (Gloria Reuben) of the Department of Scientific Intelligence monitors Charlie’s activities, fearing her uncontrollable powers. With the help of fellow superhuman John Rainbird (Michael Greyeyes), Hollister seeks to eliminate the girl.
These ideas were interesting in 1984, but beyond stale in 2022. Plus, the movie deviates significantly from the source material, usually for the worse (although the more complex depiction of Rainbird is an improvement). Hollister, however, is disappointing. Her motives are unclear and sometimes contradictory. She’s meant to be intimidating, but she comes off as simply strategic. She doesn’t hold a candle toMartin Sheen’s performance in the original movie. In fact, Hollister’s whole agency, the DSI, is lackluster in contrast to the shadowy organization from the book, known as The Shop.
Firestarter
Firestartercan be streamed on Starz in the U.S.
Watch on Starz
9Bill & Tadzu
‘Thinner’ (1996)
“Justice ain’t about bringing back the dead.” Lawyer Billy Halleck (Robert John Burke) accidentally kills a gypsy woman with his car. With the help of his connections, he avoids legal repercussions, but he can’t evade the wrath of the victim’s father, Tadzu (Michael Constantine), who places a curse on him. Soon, Billy begins losing weight uncontrollably, despite his insatiable appetite.
Tadzu is a cardboard cutout of a character, simply rehashing stereotypes that have been played out a million times. Apart from his makeup, courtesy of four-time Oscar winnerGreg Cannom, there’s really nothing memorable about him at all. He’s like a B-movie version of Ganush (Bojana Novakovic) fromDrag Me to Hell. Billy himself is hardly better. He, too, is dastardly and is very much a villain by the end of the movie. The film could’ve gotten interesting in its handling of morality and justice, but instead, it goes for cheap thrills that fall flat. The script is as emaciated as the protagonist.
Thinnercan be streamed on Tubi in the U.S.
Watch on Tubi
‘Creepshow 2’ (1987)
“No more of this baloney, man.” The firstCreepshowwas a ton of fun, combining gory tales with a vibrant comic-book aesthetic. The sequel is but a pale imitation. Once again, it presents several interwoven stories, this time about a statue that exacts vengeance, the violent spirit of a dead hitchhiker, and a malevolent entity that attacks a group of friends stuck on a raft on a lake.
The blob looks like an oil slick: it’s gross but not frightening. The plot of this segment, entitled “The Raft”, is similarly gruesome but light on characterization. It’s a bog-standard creature feature, harking back to the amoeboid alien from 1958’sThe Blob. Unfortunately, it doesn’t innovate onthe formula of its inspirations, other than updating them with more modern special effects. The result is one of King’s most boring monsters. That said, the closing shot of a half-hidden sign beside the lake reading “No Swimming” is so-bad-it’s-good.
Creepshow 2
Creepshow 2can be streamed on Prime Video in the U.S.
Watch on Prime
7The Man in Black
‘The Dark Tower’ (2017)
“Darkness is your weapon, guns are mine.” Few movies squander their potential more egregiously thanNikolaj Arcel’sThe Dark Tower. It was based on King’s sprawling fantasy series consisting of eight novels, but tries to cram multiple books into a single 95-minute movie. The result is an utter messthat feels more like glorified fan fiction, totally lacking in heft or grandeur. Not even the talents ofIdris Elbaas the gunslinger Roland Deschain can rescue it.
Unfortunately, this extends to the antagonist, The Man in Black (Matthew McConaughey). McConaughey’s performance is fine, but the script leaves the character underdeveloped.King has saidthat The Man In Black “isn’t just a mirage that Roland is chasing”, but that’s exactly how he comes across here. This all builds up to an absurd shootout between the two where The Man in Black manipulates debris with hand gestures, like something out ofM. Night Shyamalan’sAvatar:The Last Airbender.
The Dark Tower
The Dark Towercan be streamed on Fubo in the U.S.
Watch on Fubo
‘Dreamcatcher’ (2003)
“I’m filing that in the ‘Who Gives A Sh*t’ section of my Memory Warehouse.“Dreamcatcherfollows four lifelong friends - Jonesy (Damian Lewis), Henry (Thomas Jane), Beaver (Jason Lee), and Pete (Timothy Olyphant) - on their annual hunting trip in the remote woods of Maine. As a powerful blizzard descends upon the region, the group finds themselves preyed upon by malevolent alien creatures that infect and manipulate humans like puppets.
Dreamcatcheris a disjointed movie that fails to live up to expectations, especially considering the pedigree of its director,Lawrence Kasdan(who wroteRaiders of the Lost Ark), and screenwriter,The Princess Bride’sWilliam Goldman. The primary antagonist, known as Mr. Gray (Damian Lewis), is also underwhelming.The creature design is boring, riffing on alien stereotypes, and the CGI does not look great. The extraterrestrial has the ability to possess people, leading to paranoia and uncertainty among the protagonists, copied wholesale fromThe Thing. While the movie might aspire to beStand By MemeetsAlien, it’s morePlan 9 from Outer Space.
Dreamcatcher
Dreamcatchercan be rented on Amazon in the U.S.
Rent on Amazon
5Platform Truck
‘Maximum Overdrive’ (1986)
“It’s a broom. Using our own machines to sweep us right off.” After watching scores of directors adapt his work, King finally took a stab at it himself, with disastrous results. It’s a mystery as to why he choseMaximum Overdriveof all the stories to direct: it’s about a comet that passes the earth andcauses machines to come to lifeand turn on humans. People are quickly enslaved by these new mechanical overlords.
Consequently,the villains are various appliances, ATMs, and cars,including a truck with a giant Green Goblin mask on its grille. The most ridiculous of them is a machine gun-wielding platform truck that communicates in Morse code and asks people to pump its gas in exchange for their lives. “The problem with that film is that I was coked out of my mind all through its production,“King has explained.He said the experience of making it convinced him never to direct again.
Maximum Overdrive
Maximum Overdrivecan be streamed on Prime Video in the U.S.
4George Staub
‘Riding the Bullet’ (2004)
“The bullet is constant. The bullet is always there.” When Alan Parker (Jonathan Jackson) learns that his mother has suffered a stroke, he hitchhikes along a desolate stretch of highway to reach her bedside. There, he sees an apparition of himself and is picked up by a strange man named George Staub (David Arquette). He concludes that George is undead, and must figure out a way to survive the trip.
Riding the Bulletwas based on a popular novella but flopped at the box office,grossingjust $264, 000 worldwide. Critics were similarly scathing. Despite efforts by directorMick Garrisand Jackson’s strong performance, the movie fails to hold the audience’s interest. The plot is often confusing, andthe character of George just isn’t intriguing or unsettling enough to maintain the tension the whole way through. Plus, even the spookiest things about him, like the cruel choice he thrusts upon Alan, are plot devices that horror fans have seen before.
Riding the Bullet
Riding the Bulletcan be streamed on Roku in the U.S.
Watch on Roku
‘Graveyard Shift’ (1990)
“I don’t know if it’s just me, but rats always give me the Willies.“Graveyard Shiftis an adaptation of a short story King published in a magazine pre-Carrie, way back in 1970. It centers on John Hall (David Andrews), a drifter who takes a job at a decrepit textile mill in a small Maine town. While toiling away in the mill’s basement, overrun with rats, Hall and his coworkers discover that they are not alone. A malevolent presence lurks in the shadows.
Nevertheless,wooden writing and poor character development ensure that he’s never believable or especially frightening.
Stephen Machtplays the mill’s sadistic foreman, Warwick. He bullies most of his employees and has affairs with the rest. He’s even worse than the monster beneath the mill, and has far more screen time, making him the movie’s primary antagonist. His personality is not improved when he gets injured and becomes insane, turning violent. Nevertheless,wooden writing and poor character development ensure that he’s never believable or especially frightening.
Graveyard Shiftcan be streamed on Tubi in the U.S.
2The Raggedy Man
‘Cell’ (2016)
“I’m really sorry about your family.“John CusackleadsCellas Clay Riddell, an artist who finds himself caught in the chaos of a mysterious signal broadcast through cell phones, turning users into mindless, violent savages. With society crumbling around him, Clay teams up with a small group of survivors to search for safety.
Beneath the cell signal gimmick (which is not even particularly compelling),Cellis essentially a run-of-the-mill zombie movie. The main villain is the Raggedy Man (Joshua Mikel), a figure in a red hoodie, who appears in the characters' dreams at first. He originated from Clay’s graphic novel but takes on a life of his own, whispering in people’s minds and manipulating the infected. Unfortunately, his appearance is not terrifying, and he’s too magical and inexplicable for this kind of movie.The Raggedy Man is just one ofCell’s many problems, alongside shoddy effects, a surface-level script, and Cusack coming across like he’s not even trying.
Cellcan be streamed on Roku in the U.S.
1Laundry Machine
‘The Mangler’ (1995)
“There’s a little bit of me in that machine… and a little bit of that machine in me.” On paper,The Manglerhad potential, especially because of directorTobe Hooper(The Texas Chainsaw Massacre,Poltergeist). Unfortunately, the end product is one of the worst things he or King has ever done. Basically, it’s a story abouta possessed industrial laundry machinethat crushes and kills people, folding them like sheets. The machine comes to life after some drops of blood are spilled on it (science).
The movie tries to portray the bloodthirsty laundry press as genuine nightmare fuel, but the effects are decidedly shabby. It’s all just so bizarre.
This premise sounds like a parody, but there’s not much humor to be found here. The movie tries to portray the bloodthirsty laundry press as genuine nightmare fuel, but the effects are decidedly shabby. It’s all just so bizarre. King himself had a job in an industrial laundry for a while, so the story clearly drew from his own experience. Maybe working alongside the machine would make one respect its power. But most viewers are simply left scratching their heads.
