Movies can be bad, but that doesn’t necessarily mean they’re beyond salvation. There are so-bad-they’re-good movies that audiences can enjoy despite their awfulness, likeBatman & RobinorThe Room. There are also misunderstood pictures that improve upon reevaluation, like theStar Warsprequels orA Wrinkle in Time.
However, there are also movies so utterly bad and without an ounce of artistry in them that it’s impossible to defend them, and the ’90s produced many of them. These films are outright bad, deprived of any logic or any entertaining element that might make them enjoyable or even bearable to fans.
10’Cool World' (1992)
Gabriel ByrneandBrad Pittstar oppositeKim Basingerin the dark fantasy comedyCool World. The film follows a cartoonist who finds himself in a cartoon world where an ambitious femme fatale seduces him in an effort to become a human.
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Cool Worldis a shameless attempt to do an edgier, sexier version ofWho Framed Roger Rabbit. However, the film is a lazy effort boasting a nonsensical plot that treats its femme fatale as an object to be ogled rather than a fully-fledged character. Coupled with one of Pitt’s laziest performances and a story that runs out of steam halfway through,Cool Worldis an utter and forgettable waste of the audience’s time.
9’The Bonfire of the Vanities' (1990)
Tom Wolfe’s best-selling 1987 novel received a high-profile film adaptation in 1990, withBrian de Palmadirecting andTom Hanks,Melanie Griffith, andBruce Willisstarring.The Bonfire of the Vanitiesfollows a Wall Street investment banker whose life crumbles after his mistress runs over a Black teen, attracting the attention of a disgraced reporter.
The novel’s scathing dark humor and biting irony all but disappear in the film adaptation.The Bonfire of the Vanitiesis the worst kind of satire, crucially misunderstanding the criticism it’s supposed to make and settling for cheap shots and half-earned revelations. Suffering from one ofthe worst cases of miscasting in a movieand with tone-deaf humor that’s neither clever nor particularly funny,The Bonfire of the Vanitiesis a massive disappointment.
8’Cutthroat Island' (1995)
Geena DavisandMatthew Modine’s careers couldn’t survive the shipwreck that was 1995’sCutthroat Island. A big-budget swashbuckler adventure, the film follows the daughter of a famous pirate who fights her uncle to find the map leading to a large and legendary treasure.
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Cutthroat Islandhas a notoriously troubled production; multiple rewrites of the already paper-thin screenplay, casting changes, delays, and production issues led to the film’s budget exploding. The worst part isCutthroat Islandis forgettable and dull, devoid of life, charm, or thrills. The behind-the-scenes situation is infinitely more entertaining, if only because there’s some actual drama happening.
7’The Scarlet Letter' (1995)
Demi Moorewas arguably themost iconic actress from the early ’90s, but her career took a severe blow following the trainwreck that was 1995’s adaptation of Nathaniel Hawthorne’s seminal novelThe Scarlet Letter. Moore stars as Hester Prynne, a woman who becomes intimate with her lover thinking her husband is dead. When he returns, Hester is besmirched by the town while her husband seeks revenge against her lover.
The Scarlet Letteris bad. Hawthorne’s notoriously challenging novel isn’t easy to adapt, but the 1995 version tries to introduce unnecessary sexual elements to the story in keeping with the erotic thrillers of the time. The result is a painfully uncomfortable film that is neither sexy nor deep; instead, it’s a bizarre and often laughable bastardization of a great novel, worsened by Moore’s genuinely terrible English accent.
6’Steel' (1997)
Before comic book movies took over the big screen, Hollywood tried to make a live-action version of the popular DC character Steel. However, the studio choseShaquille O’Nealas the star, thus producing one of the most infamous turkeys from the ’90s.
Steelis hilariously bad. It does itself no favors by using new characters and rejecting everything that made the comic book popular. Lacking the spectacle that makes most superhero fare enjoyable and featuring O’Neal’s unfortunate performance,Steelis the cinematic equivalent of a crash-and-burn in which there are no survivors.
5’Judge Dredd' (1995)
Few actors had such a critically-panned career throughout the ’90s asSylvester Stallone. The Oscar-nominated actor starred in critical flop after flop, including 1995’s awful film adaptation of the2000 ADcharacterJudge Dredd. Stallone stars as the judge, a stoic enforcer framed for murder by his ambitious brother, Rico, who’s plotting to take over the dystopian metropolis Mega-City One.
Judge Dreddis laughably bad but not entertaining enough to bea so-bad-it’s-good movie. Instead, the film is awkward and boring, with Stallone delivering an uncomfortably bad performance in a role in which he was woefully miscast.Judge Dreddtakes itself too seriously to work as a parody but lacks any ounce of emotional weight to succeed as anything else, resulting in an unfortunate film that becomes unwatchable long before the credits roll.
4’Jury Duty' (1995)
A great character once said that “searching for a boy in high school is as useless as searching for meaning in aPauly Shoremovie;” boy, was she right. Shore’s film career in the ’90s is full of notoriously jarring comedies that critics and audiences derided; however, none of his films is worse than 1995’sJury Duty. The film follows a scheming man who prolongs the trial to exploit the money paid to jury members.
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Jury Dutyis not nearly clever enough to pull off its dark premise. Instead, the film is stupid and lazy, with Shore delivering one of his most off-putting performances. Comedy needs at least some amount of wit to be funny, which might explain whyJudy Dutyis so humorless.
3’Speed 2: Cruise Control' (1997)
Sandra Bullockreprises the role that made her a star in the 1997 disasterSpeed 2: Cruise Control. The film sees Bullock’s Annie and her boyfriend going on vacation aboard a luxury cruise. When the ship gets hijacked by a terrorist, the duo works with the crew to stop it from crashing against an oil tanker.
In retrospect, it makes sense that Bullock agreed to the film.Speedwas a massive commercial success, and the film’s director was also returning. However, the premise was the worst possible follow-up, replacing the fast-paced chase from the original with a slow-moving cruise in the middle of the ocean. With hilariously terrible dialogue and nearly non-existent action sequences, it wouldn’t be an overstatement to callSpeed 2one of the all-time worst sequels.
2’Stop! Or My Mom Will Shoot" (1992)
Sylvester Stallone might be the king of bad ’90s movies. His resumé throughout the decade has enough turkeys for a Thanksgiving feast, but none is worse than the spectacularly terrible 1992 comedyStop! Or My Mom Will Shoot. Stallone stars oppositeEstelle Gettyin a story about a cop whose professional and personal lives are upended by his overbearing mother.
Stop! Or My Mom Will Shootis a bad movie in every sense of the word. Unfunny and outright moronic, the film wastes the American treasure that is Estelle Getty, saddling her with an annoying character that might make audiences scream in exasperation. By the time Stallone delivers the titular line, the film has already confirmed itself as one of cinema’s greatest trainwrecks; however, unlike other unfortunate films,Stop! Or My Mom Will Shoothas no redeeming qualities whatsoever.
1’The Avengers' (1998)
In the pantheon of truly awful movies, 1998’sThe Avengershas a place of honor.Based on the eponymous 1960s British series,The AvengersstarsRalph FiennesandUma Thurmanas John Steed and Emma Peel, two secret agents going againstSean Connery’s Sir August de Wynter, a mad scientist planning to control the Earth’s weather.
Unlike the 1960s show,The Avengersisn’t fun, campy, or romantic. Instead, it’s loud, dumb, terribly miscast, and, worst of all, boring. Fiennes and Thurman are charming, acclaimed actors, but their chemistry is non-existent, and their performances are confused at best and cringe-worthy at worst.The Avengersis possibly the worst movie of the ’90s, the kind of absurd and overblown mess that gives blockbusters a bad name.
